Calm Down
How do you feel when someone says to you
Calm down
Be honest…
Have you ever found yourself angry? And you were right to feel that way. It might just be me, but I can’t stand it when someone tries to tell me how to feel in that moment. Being angry is natural. It’s a kinetic scientific reaction to whatever is happening.
However, I don’t like it when people try to downplay my feelings or discount them. Better yet, everybody can be upset about something, except me. My feelings belong to me. And they need to hear the words I have to say.
It can be something that happened to you accidentally or on purpose. Your response warrants an equal and exact reaction. Your feelings are justifiable. But it’s nullified with those two words. I know can’t nobody tell you to “Calm down”. Being angry or upset continually can cause some issues in life. Here are a few things I learned about how to deal with anger.
Be angry but sin not (Ephesians 4:26)
Recognize
My initial response is to not address it immediately. I learned to make a quick observation and recognize what is happening. Try to figure out what is causing the problem. Ask questions, what is triggering it? Is it superficial? Maybe is it a deeply rooted, unresolved problem that continues to show up. Write it down, matter of fact we should recognize who is doing it. My wife would say
Consider the source
Over time you will notice a pattern. You then can make well-informed, logical decisions, and not emotional decisions. I know the quick response is easy. None the less, let’s do the work, and recognize what’s happening.
Relax
It may not be that deep. It’s ok to walk away, find your sacred space, and relax. Don’t rehearse what was done or said, relax. I find listening to some Low-Fi music or a playlist would relax me. If you are into yoga or meditation, this would be the best time to sit and reflect. Prayer and meditation is a good way to relax your heart and mind. We tend to forget it is not only the mind that’s involved but our hearts are also.
Above all else guard your heart… (Proverbs 4:23)
By relaxing it eases stress. Because stress results to hypertension. No need to
Keep that same energy.
Don’t give them your energy, your time, or your efforts. It’s ok to walk away and relax. I’ve learned that I don’t have to answer or respond to the troll. Enjoy your time.
Review
I learned
It’s not what you say but how you say it.
Communication is key, review it, and share how you feel. Do it respectfully. This is not the time to get back at them and engage in verbal fisticuffs. But when you have the communication. Be mindful regarding when you do it. If possible make it a one-on-one conversation. Try not to discuss sensitive matters in a public setting. Because sometimes actors need an audience. Make sure you are expressing how you feel about it. Don’t include everyone else, this situation made you angry. It might not have affected them the same way. So have the conversation.
If we learn to recognize what’s happening, relax, and review our feelings. Using these ideas would improve our health, well-being, and out look on life. Then we will not need someone to tell us to “Calm down.” Talk to you later.
Read stories on the list “Self Improvement” on Medium: https://medium.com/@marqdcameron/list/4a3f330490b7
For Books and Gifts
Best Anger Management Books: https://amzn.to/4dOu6k9 (Amazon)
Forgiving what you can’t Forget: https://amzn.to/3wK2hJa (Amazon)
New Morning Mercies: https://amzn.to/3UOuK8K (Amazon)
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